Watch any major dart tournament and you will see that loud music, whether it be the players’ intro music or the TV theme music, has become an integral part of the proceedings. It seems that darts and music go together like ale and pickled onions, a veritable match made in heaven. I’ve been racking my brain, and unfortunately, I’ve failed to think of any band that’s returned the favor and actively championed the tungsten arts. This is where the brilliant minds of marketing and merchandising come to our rescue, to once and for all seamlessly unite the worlds of rock and darts. Here are some of our favorite rock ‘n’ roll dartboards, and you can guarantee none of these artists would put their name to a shoddy product.
THE BEATLES/APPLE RECORDS
Chances are you have heard of a band from Liverpool called The Beatles. If you haven’t, they were quite popular in the sixties, and they wrote a some good tunes. Anyway, as history would have it, this group of loveable moptops got so famous that soon they had more money than sense, and they needed an outlet to waste their newfound gazillions (and remember kids, back in the the ’60s, a gazillion was actually worth something). What better way to waste your money than forming a record label and releasing a dartboard? This dartboard is a genuine antique from those heady days of 1968, and was given out to music industry types as a Christmas present. If you are a fan of the Fab Four and come across one of these, I recommend you don’t actually play darts on it. They are probably quite expensive.
KISS
No one can ever accuse flamboyant, greasepaint-clad rockers Kiss of not taking full advantage of merchandising. From shot glasses to tea towels, action figures to underwear, every conceivable product has displayed their mugshots at some time or another. So it’s hardly surprising to find a Kiss dartboard and cabinet. This attractive objet d’art (almost a pun!) is tastefully decorated with the visages of their classic make-up line-up: The Chico, The Harpo, The Groucho, and The Zeppo. Surely this is the perfect gift for any loyal member of the Kiss Army to match their Kiss pajamas and fluffy Gene Simmons slippers. I…wanna rock and roll all night…and play darts every day!
ELVIS COSTELLO
No one can ever accuse flamboyant, greasepaint-clad rockers Kiss of not taking full advantage of merchandising. From shot glasses to tea towels, action figures to underwear, every conceivable product has displayed their mugshots at some time or another. So it’s hardly surprising to find a Kiss dartboard and cabinet. This attractive objet d’art (almost a pun!) is tastefully decorated with the visages of their classic make-up line-up: The Chico, The Harpo, The Groucho, and The Zeppo. Surely this is the perfect gift for any loyal member of the Kiss Army to match their Kiss pajamas and fluffy Gene Simmons slippers. I…wanna rock and roll all night…and play darts every day!
OASIS
The clocks almost definitely maybe stopped musically for Oasis, sometime after The Beatles’ “white album,” but with a wormhole in the space-time continuum that allows for the inclusion of The Smiths and The Stone Roses. The plucky Gallagher lads shook the world of rock in the nineties with their timeless melodies and dialectally challenged caterwauling. They oozed so much cool, a whole genre of music was formed around them by lazy music journalists, and they even got world leaders into power. To celebrate the release of their greatest hits album, Stop The Clocks, was this promotional dartboard that matched the carnival game on the album cover. This one is obviously not for the casual fan as it doesn’t even bear the Oasis logo. Only a true fan knows its hidden meaning.
ELVIS
In the world of darts, Marvyn King uses the name “The King,” but there is only one true King and that is, of course, Elvis Presley. Elvis may have left the building, but the spirit of his music lives on through myriad tacky tchotchkes and countless impersonators. You can argue ’til you’re blue in the face about who invented rock and roll, but it was Elvis who brought it to the masses, and there is no denying the massive influence he has had on modern popular music. So what better way to complete your den-cum-shrine to The King than with this tasteful dartboard cabinet? Emblazoned with an iconic portrait of the King in his pomp this is sure to have any Elvis fan all shook up.
LED ZEPPELIN
Sometime in the late 1960s, rock musicians started growing tired of the hippy thing, and they just wanted to crank up the amps and start rocking out heavy. Spearheading this charge of the new hard rock was Led Zeppelin with their guitar-driven, amplified blues and boogie that was one of the pioneering sounds that would morph into heavy metal. This dartboard cabinet features “The Hermit” artwork from the inner gatefold of the Led Zeppelin IV long playing album (a long playing album is what they used to listen to in the olden days; it was like a CD but a lot bigger and it didn’t hold as many tracks). This attractive package is sure to help you up that stairway to darting heaven.
GUNS N’ ROSES
Formed in 1985, Guns N’ Roses have managed to record a paltry 6 albums in a 25-year span. One was not even a proper album, just some covers of old punk songs. So that leaves us with just 5 proper studio albums in 25 years. That works out to 1 album for every 5 years of their existence. Pathetic! What a bunch of bone idle, long-haired layabouts! Still, millions of fans around the world love their tuneless warbling. This dartboard set not only says Guns N’ Roses on it, it has a picture of some guns N’ some roses on it. I may not be a big G N’ R fan, but darts is a great game to play during the cold November Rain.